marshellea

socially awkward

"You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control."

Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love  (via larmoyante)

#19

"The demon is only in your head, it is not real."

I wish I can self talk myself to believe that its not real. 

But its real. 

scntrx:
6-1-5:

a haiku a day (253/365)

#18 

Being alone.

And so I’m afraid of failing.
Failing miserably. Or I have high expectations towards myself.
Or I’m denying reality that I’m a total loser.

Negative vibes.
Its hard not to think of the consequences that we may get from decisions.
Well lets be realistic, we have people in our lives which we are bound to keep, and desperately hold on to keep.
Ergo, every single life changing decision being made will affect those people regardless the amount of impact they may cause.
Lucky today’s technology allows us to be close virtually, but somehow doesnt delivers the same quality.
It’s not ungratefulness of today’s tech, but the value or sense or the feel is still different.
Therefore being a thousand miles away from your love one, sucks.

Lets cut the chase. We all have that fear, well for me the fear of being alone.
Yes I sound very clingy. But then, there is the time when that fear turns into paranoia and it overwhelms you,
which then numbs you and in the end you came to conclusion that you’re better off alone anyways.
I’m a mess arent I.

How i wish the thoughts in my head would just flow into words so that you’d at least get a picture of how mess up of a person I can be.
I believe that love conquers all but can we use that as an excuse to hurt the people that we love?

#18

You know that feeling in the morning, when you see that person right next to you, and you just feel complete. 

Same goes to when you kiss that person good night and tuck them to bed, you just feel the day is complete. 

I love that. I miss that. 

I’m grateful for your existence. 

Its just now, I hate being here, in Miri. I hate leaving you alone, and having to carry this void of emptiness with me. 

To think about it, due to our lack of social skills, we eventually have become each other’s bestfriends. 

Please know that I love you like so so so so much. 

Take care.