Demons. Each and every one of us posses at least one demon.
To control them is a talent which seems almost impossible to master.
I did manage to hide them but somehow this time she re-surface again. I wish to bury her to the deepest hole. But no matter how she will come back and destroy everything again. I know I should tame her, I should control her, I should not let her get her ways. But I cant tame her, i cant control her, and i let her get in the way. Never was my intention to hurt anyone. Once, she comes out, she came like a huge wave splashing and drowning away all the love I’ve poured out and in a single snap vanish all the good in me. And she was no other than me.
I know its selfish of me to ask for people to understand that it is the way I am, I cannot control this part of me, to stay and be with me even if I’m hurting them. But please I beg of you, to help me get thru this, to get thru me, to get thru my demons. Cause if you leave, I’m left with the demon, succumbing thru all the guilt and pain. I’ve been there done that, and I never want to return to that again, not with you.
I’m trying to change, for you. So if I grab too hard on you please understand.
Meeting you was fate, having you was a blessing, losing you is never an option.
Yea, I sound like one psychotic girlfriend I know.