#11 

It has been forrreeverrrrr..I blame it on my laziness 

Thanks love, for letting me write again eventho most of it is just emotional crap. Lets think of this as therapy la okay?

well I’m just done with MMFD (My Mad Fat Diary) Season 2, and I got emotional. 

I’m a person who has a thousand one of issues,most of it comes back to the frustration i have within me which I know is like committing suicide and then trying hard to revive my own self…which is rather silly. But still I go through that path eventho I know the pattern, the ending, the outcome. Along the way of feeding my temper and dissatisfaction, I’ll hurt every soul that I cherish. Intentionally or unintentionally. Either one, I truly regret them by the end of the day.

I have my own group humans that will recuperate me to my most humane self, but what if I lose them to my temper? This come to mind as I watch Rae lose every thing…

To be realistic, we each have that moment, where we get too carried away with ourselves. That urge to keep that balance, to make every single soul around you happy, which in the end kills you. Okay now I’m talking crap. 

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I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.

This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.

And I will not be afraid
of your scars.

I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.

Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers (via mishproductions)

This.

(via mochro)

(Source: lovemestarkly, via eletheowl)

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The best part of a relationship is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end that’s what it’s about. It’s not about sex, it’s not about the money they give you, it’s not about how good looking they are, it’s about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn’t matter. Tegan Quin (via perfect)

(Source: saraddict, via faten)

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#10 Tantrums

Demons. Each and every one of us posses at least one demon. 

To control them is a talent which seems almost impossible to master. 

I did manage to hide them but somehow this time she re-surface again. I wish to bury her to the deepest hole. But no matter how she will come back and destroy everything again. I know I should tame her, I should control her, I should not let her get her ways. But I cant tame her, i cant control her, and i let her get in the way. Never was my intention to hurt anyone. Once, she comes out, she came like a huge wave splashing and drowning away all the love I’ve poured out and in a single snap vanish all the good in me. And she was no other than me.

I know its selfish of me to ask for people to understand that it is the way I am, I cannot control this part of me, to stay and be with me even if I’m hurting them. But please I beg of you, to help me get thru this, to get thru me, to get thru my demons. Cause if you leave, I’m left with the demon, succumbing thru all the guilt and pain. I’ve been there done that, and I never want to return to that again, not with you. 

I’m trying to change, for you. So if I grab too hard on you please understand. 

Meeting you was fate, having you was a blessing, losing you is never an option. 

Yea, I sound like one psychotic girlfriend I know. 

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#9

Hi. 

I guess I’m at that stage where I ache for your presence most of the time. I dont know why..maybe its just me being clingy. And maybe it me being afraid that you’ll run away anytime. Me and my insecurities kan? Well baby help me to solve them.

So this is how this feels like? A stable, non-dramatical relationship. Maybe this is why I so much want this to be the one. 

My wish is simple, for you to be the last person i see during the night, and the first thing i see in the morning, to sleep to your snores, to have your arms around me. 

Grant my wish will you? Soon, very soon.

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stayingstrongwarriors:

jordynivy:

annaoverboard:

What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and their snoring like a fucking ass hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it.
you beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness.
I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.

this deserve so many notes

Idk but I cried reading this - Pao

(via imawalkingtravestyy)

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