I fucking miss you.
I feel absolutely pathetic.

Please self get over him please

Well its been too long perhaps..a long hiatus I must say..It was a prevention against me posting sappy craps..yes its officially over..and yes I do still think of him at times but its maybe because he is just like family to me since he lingered for years..well enough of Wolverine

So I’m now a member of the working class society but I’m sure bad at it..i was never good at anything anyways..well a month has passed since I’ve first started..lets just say it was a rough start…

I’ve been coughing like for ages now and yes it itchy and painful :( sad eh

Oh yes I have an eye candy in the new office..he is very cute in his own ways..but I think he has a deserved owner now..like who doesn’t want a piece of him..yes I’m head over heels for this guy..hahaha a motivation for work and for sweating all my fats away…okay bah that

I sound pathetic right..

Okay before I start babbling all sorts of crap I should just stop here

Soon perhaps?

X,
The now me

"you have to be tougher. you have to learn the way to beat your path through, to make yourself felt, and make yourself necessary"

"You never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people’s lives."

“Lord have mercy on me. Give me the strength to overcome this feeling. If he is not the one for me, help me to slowly digest the fact that he is not the one; if we are meant to be help me to be patience and calm.”

That particular phrase had been running on my mind since yesterday. I wish I knew why. It feels like forever since we last communicate and yet I feel like its years of torture.

Why do I feel like this is really the end? This time I really thought that we would really grow old together…you promise you would be by my side and that promise was made not pretty long ago…I miss you so badly. Why cant we work things out and make up. Because honestly I cant picture a future without you. Yes I plan to have a future with you and I’ve been picturing it for a long time despite my countless stupidness choices of exits towards commitment. I was young do forgive me. But you linger too much on the past. 

I plan to write you regarding how I feel but know what I could think of to say to you are only :

1. I MISS YOU 
2. COME BACK 
3. DONT LEAVE ME HANGING
4. WHY
5. WHY 
6. WHY

I wish I knew why.

What went wrong?? what did I do wrong? 

I miss you badly 

"If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.”
because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation."

I miss you so so much..😭

I wish you were for real tho